But I need to get my feelings out.  I just found out that the psycho is getting married, silly thing is we broke up partly because I felt she didnt love me and partly because of her psychosis and attacking me for no reason, how could she love me when she just came at me with knives and stuff for no reason, she claimed to, and she even proposed to me after I split up with her.. I still care about her which is stupid and havent been ready to even date until recently, and now that I decided I was ready to date, even though I cant really afford it, I find out she’s getting married, and not out of love because she’s in some religious cult where things like that arent believed in, but she is getting married because her religious leaders tell her she has to get married.  I cant help but feel a little heart broken.  Its silly that I still love her even how she treated me… but I need to get over her and move on.  I cant dwell on these things and let myself get really depressed and broken hearted over this.

The worst part is the women I seem to get on well with and feel I could fall for live so far away Im unable to date them as its so expensive.  How hard is it to find someone that I could love that lives nearby and can cope with not rushing into moving in together as Im just not ready to move in with someone so soon due to how things went with the psycho, and how she flipped and changed when we moved in together… She was good at hiding her condition while we dated.